Post 99...bittersweet

Well folks... it's here.  I will be set apart in 2.5 hours for the next eighteen months as a missionary.  I can't believe that it's here and that I am even going.  It will be very bittersweet as with any big change.  I have to say goodbye to the people I love the most but I know that the Lord will be with me and will also be with those I love. And I'm so grateful for the knowledge that I have that I can see them all again.  With that said, here we go... off to Colorado for the next 18 months.

Last weekend

At least this weekend is Memorial Day... and we had an epic road trip the weekend before.  I'm excited to get out there yet I'm going to miss a lot of what I leave behind.  The only thing that makes it worth it is the knowledge that everything I love and hold dear will still be here when I get back and forever.  Let's get going!

Confusion

This is kind of awkward... I don't really know what to do with myself.  On one hand, I feel like I should be paranoid about getting everything done and taken care of but at the same time I feel like there's nothing to do.  Its a little difficult since my parents want things done on their time table but mine is a little bit different.  I do some of my best work at 10pm while they lean towards the morning hours.  It makes things kind of interesting.  I know there's a lot to do but at the same time, I feel like I've got it under control.  I'm sure next week will be madness.  But picking up a few clothes does not seem that important right now.  I'm terrible but I really have no desire to be cleaning right now.  Maybe it would be best if I went out and did my shopping today because I have a feeling nothing will get done otherwise. Hopefully I figure this all out soon.  UGH!

Stalling...

I'm totally stalling here but I really don't want to write my talk right now.  Anyway, I would like to ramble a little bit about razors.  It makes me laugh every time I think about how everything that happens to me goes against common sense... for example... I cut myself more when I shave with a 2 blade razor than a 3 or 4 blade razor.  Today, I was shaving my legs and its very difficult to shave soapy legs with a soapy hand... it just doesn't work that well at all... surprisingly, I didn't cut myself (that I know of) probably since I used the 4 blader... But I guess it's time to get back to work.

95...

So this is my 95th post... it's taken me awhile to get here but I hope to get 100 by the time I leave...  I should come up with some deep topics to blog about.  Most likely not.  So exciting news... I finished paying off my car!!! Sweetness!!! I'm so excited!!! And I'm super looking forward to my mini vacation with my bestie.  She's awesome!!! By the way, I am in awe of her awesome blogging skills.  Maybe one day I will come to half of her great skill.  I feel almost drunk right now.  But we've gotten a lot done as far as mission prep the past two days. Thank goodness but I still have a lot to do.  At least I have wonderful family and a wonderful bestie. That makes life bearable.

Two Weeks.... From Tomorrow

I should be posting more especially since I'm leaving in two weeks!!! AAHH!!! Let the stress begin.  Luckily I have an awesome family, both my immediate and my extended family have been FANTASTIC!!! Plus I am lucky enough to have a wonderful best friend who has been so supportive already.
My family has been so helpful in helping me move home and getting everything organized and ready to go.  My mom took me out shopping today.  It was a lot of fun and I'm so glad that I have an awesome mom that is willing and able to do that with me.  Plus my sis Erin has been great to move into Megan's room so that I can have my own room.  Jessica is basically awesome too.
My best friend has been so great.  Tonight she helped me go through stuff that she helped me pack so that we could repack it for storage.  She was amazing and always helps keep me focused.
With that said, there is only one thing left to say.....

JESSICA IS MY FAVORITE!!!

(she was looking over my shoulder) 

You are a friend of mine

You are a friend of mine,

Thank God I have learned your worth,

One of a royal group

The very salt of the earth.

Culled from the mighty throngs

That trek on the beaten ways

That cross and recross my path,

All through the hurrying days

Millions have come and gone

But by a law divine

Nature has deigned to segregate

All that I claim as mine.

So has your name been placed

High on the sacred scroll

With all who agree to barter with me

The merchandise of the soul.

All through the passing days

Swift in their hectic flight

I shall take time to think of you

Morning and noon and night.

I will be true to you

Till the last long slanting rays

Of life's setting sun shall gild the peaks

Of the world of other days.

Nothing can budge my faith,

Nothing can breed a doubt

Never till time shall cease

And the sun and stars burn out.

—Dr. Geo. W. Middleton.

29

days and counting...
There are so many mixed emotions about this whole thing.  I am excited to go and to experience this new part of life but at the same time, I don't want to leave the people I love behind.  I know they will still be here when I get back but things will never be exactly the same as they are now.
In addition to that, I came across a quote this morning that has made me think a little bit.

"Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need." -Kahlil Gibran


I definitely understand the generosity part, but the pride part is what caused me to think.  Growing up, I got the attitude that it was pretty much you give to others and expect nothing in return.  If you need something, ask a family member and that's as far as it goes.  But over the past year, I have learned that it's okay to take a little bit. Thankfully, I have had a wonderful friend who taught me that.  I am still not even close to perfect and probably exhibit a lot of pride in that aspect (as well as others).  However, I am learning day by day and am grateful for a best friend who is patient with me as I learn these lessons.
While I'm terrified in a lot of aspects of this new journey, I know that the people I love will always be there.  No matter where I go, they will always be a monumental part of my life.